 |
| Photo stolen from the cover of The Cymbal Book by Hugo Pinksterboer, which you should own. |
At last, the definitive guide to the vibes we all get from the various sizes of cymbals. I don’t know why most of them relate to cars for me. File this with my previous tom size vibe post.
…mind you, what follows is rated 100% pure BS, so don’t let it dissuade you from getting the cymbal you want or need. There are no “dumb” or “serious” cymbals, they’re all instruments serving a musical purpose. But it’s fun to let fly with these kinds of judgments.
Let’s do this from little to big:
<6″ – Finger cymbals, bells, crotales, Necco Wafers, other rejected Halloween candy.
6″ – Do you need something that goes ki? Looks ridiculous if not carefully placed, like putting a tiny hat on your drum set.
8″ – Normal splash, slightly suspect economy vibes, Honda Civic.
10″ – True normal splash. Ford Bronco of splashes.
10″ – True normal splash. Ford Bronco of splashes.
12″ – Serious splash. BMW 5-series of splashes. Or, from another perspective, a big dumb splash. Hihats on a child’s drum set, or for really trebly Dixieland, with a guy singing through a paper megaphone.
13″ – Sport hihats. Either Ferrari-like or Suzuki Samurai-like, depending on your perspective, abilities, and quality of the cymbals. Meinl = Suzuki.
 |
| Tiny hat cymbal |
14″ – Normal hihats— Volvo 240, Gap jeans. Small crash or splash for serious people.
15″ – Alternate normal hihats. The viola of hihats, slightly bigger, dumber. Enticing/intriguing crash size.
16″ – Normal crash, most people’s first crash cymbal. Now looks slightly inadequate in its former spot on the left side of the set. Fiat Panda, Volkswagen Rabbit/Golf. Big hihats for when you want people to know you’re serious about “pocket.”
17″ – Sporty, agreeable-looking, the optimal size for a crash cymbal. Stupid looking hihat size, trying too hard. Like somebody really late to the party with the 80s wide leg jeans phase.
18″ – Platonic normal universal all-purpose cymbal size, though currently out of favor as such. People want their crashes either smaller or huger, and want their rides— left side or otherwise— bigger. Smallest size for a ride cymbal without getting weird.
19″ – Compact ride, big crash. Subaru Forester of rides, Oldsmobile 98 of crashes.
20″ – Normal ride, junior ride. The Ford Taurus of ride sizes. People are unsettled by its universality, interpreting it as a mundane rather than classic vibe. A little out of hand as a crash cymbal— you’d better be playing a lot of Billy Squier covers in that case, with a Pinstripe on your snare drum.
21″ – Compact master cymbal, Ferrari-like vibe, when a 22″ would just bog you down, hold you back.
22″ – Master cymbal. Big, substantial, serious cymbal for grown ups. Full size Mercedes. I refuse to acknowledge that people buy crash cymbals in this size.
 |
| My ’70 Buick Elektra,.en route to Las Vegas from Los Angeles, 1989 |
23″ – There are a few of them around. Contrarian. You’re not like those regular 22 and 24 inch cymbal using clods.
24″ – Big dumb cymbal— 1970 Buick Elektra, or DUKW aquatic military truck. I drove an Elektra when I went to USC. Driving it to LA with my brother, five minutes outside of Eugene, we passed a flaming hulk on the side of the road, then the Elektra’s crumbling vinyl top peeled back and was flapping behind the car like a sad cape. We had to tear it off and keep driving. That’s the 24″ cymbal experience.
>24″ – The block long Hummer limo of cymbal dimensions. For the kind of person who’s always looking for a hoppier beer. Looks like elephantiasis.
Enjoyed reading about the Electra. What a creative piece. Where I grew up they called the Electra 225 the “deuce and a quarter” not only do you know music you are a gifted writer.
I always wondered why Steve Jordan played those 17” hats with James Taylor. That is supposed to be laid back vibe.