What are we even doing?

Reason as motive, or reason as logic, or reason as a way of life?
– George Smiley, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John Le Carré

Listen, this pursuit, playing the drums, getting better at playing the drums, playing music in general, is irrational in the first place. It’s a given that we’re doing this without any great reasoned purpose, i.e. “playing the drums will be the surest route to a lifetime of prestige and financial security.”

Of course not. We get it. But from time to time we may feel an emotional pressure to live a logical existence, so we need some kind of acceptable excuse— if not legitimate reason— for continuing the illogical thing. A supporting life doctrine saying this is what we’re doing, this is why we’re going with this.

The times demand it— we’re in a bleak period where the economic reasoning/delusion seems extra-ludicrous, and self-evident human values like “playing music is good, we should have music” are being questioned or mocked outright.

Then we have these personal moments of doubt, maybe realizing how few people are able to judge when we’re doing this activity really well, so what’s the point of continuing the incremental improvements at doing it? I’m good enough to play OK on whatever crappy gigs there are, why keep practicing? Or you experience an existential panic over music’s non-durability. You play something and it instantly vanishes, only enduring as a vibe in the mind of someone who was there to hear it, if they were paying attention. And recorded music is so commonplace, and devalued, it seems scarcely more durable than that, if few people are going to listen to it.

“Acting should be ephemeral.”
– Sir John Gielgud

It’s what we do
If you have put some serious amount of time into learning this instrument, it becomes you, it becomes a way of life. How are you going to stop, and say OK, I no longer have that voice. Having that voice doesn’t pay well enough. I’ll just shut down that part of my brain, do my best to ignore it and let it die from here on out. I’ll stop thinking about it and getting better at it. I’ll cut off that limb. No.

Art is its own justification
It’s the only reason for any of this [gestures wildly at everything] to happen. Nobody is moved to reflection by the quantity of dog food Alpo was able to ship annually at the brand’s zenith, if you told them about it.

Perfecting oneself
Hopefully none of us just give up and say well, none of this makes any difference, I’m going to collect my little paycheck and live on a diet of Ding Dongs, Chicken McNuggets, video games and pornography from here on out. That’s not desirable. You always try to make yourself better, act better, be smarter, know more, say better things, get better at the things you do. You’re not running a cost/benefit analysis for that*, fretting over your hourly rate doing it, you just do it because that is life.

* – If you do, I regret to inform you that you are a serial killer. Please leave.

“When will I use this?”
Once you start asking that question, you have put yourself on the primrose path to hell and/or a day job as an accountant. Stop thinking that way.

Join the club
It has long been a thing for most art forms— when have career prospects for being a poet been awesome? Or selling paintings? Being an actor, a dancer. People who dedicate their lives to it figure out how to continue, even if it means your livelihood is not a 1:1 thing of getting paid to play the drums and nothing else.

As meaningless activities go, it’s one of the best
We agree that this is pointless, what non-pointless thing are you going to get into, then? “Coding”? Do you know what coding is? The level of banality required to do that is inconceivable to normal people. The rest of the world is basically mowing the lawn, endlessly.

“You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”
– Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Show that t**d who’s boss
Have you noticed the world at large jerking you around quite a bit lately? I’m thinking of the AI people, assuring us that they will have our jobs, and all future money will go to them. This “disruptor” thing has now been with us for awhile, and has devolved into its degenerate phase. In this age of the triumphal asshole, they think just declaring victory should be enough— victory is theirs by right of claiming it. Meanwhile, they are increasingly unable to effectively do the thing they claim.

The only sane response to this is: OK, fine, King Kong, go ahead. In the meantime, I’ll continue with my own life. (“I’m right here, what are you waiting for”, screams our protagonist). You’re welcome to my job, but you’re going to have to actually take it. I’m not just stopping because you told me you own the future so I should surrender immediately.

“If I can’t whup it, I’ll go down.”
– The Book of the SubGenius

All drummers now
You may also have observed that the present spectacularly corrupt, mediocre, and degenerate United States political regime is violating every societal and governmental contract, agreement, understanding, norm. Being vulnerable to their sadism is a sin for which you must be punished. The security that was once the reward for living a normal life is no more— they view your security as you ripping them off. At least they’re trying to make it that way.

Conclusion
A wild post, flailing in all directions. It’s a multi-front battle, existential, economics of life, making a living in general. None of this really changes anything, it doesn’t make what we’re doing any easier to survive and thrive in. The goal is just to quiet the doubting part so the irrationally motivated part can have free reign to keep doing the major work we’re here to do.

The moral of the story is— we’re here on Earth to fart around.
– Kurt Vonnegut